Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Weight, weight, weight, what's going on here?

I'm fat.  No really, I am.  I've always been a bigger girl.  I remember being in 3rd grade, and a substitute teacher called me "chunky".  Thanks, dude.  I don't think I've ever been happy with the way I looked, and it hasn't changed as I've gotten older.

I've gained 80 pounds since I've gotten married.  Having 3 kids in 4 years helped that particular situation.  I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Jack, I was terrified I wouldn't lose the baby weight.  43 pounds and a beautiful baby later, I decided to try Weight Watchers.  I lost 20 of those 43 pounds pretty quickly, actually.  The rest stuck around for pregnancy #2.  26 pounds, my highest weight EVER and another beautiful baby later, I tried, once again, to lose the weight.  Never did I really devote myself to the whole points thing.  It was just too much.  My weight has been a yo-yo for the past couple of years and I still had 15 pounds of 'Emma weight' leftover to become 'Sara weight'.  27 pounds, my NEW highest weight ever and beautiful baby #3 was a bit different.  I lost the baby weight SO quickly.  All of the 'Sara weight' pretty much disappeared within weeks.  How amazing!  So, why is the 'Emma weight' and 'Jack weight' sticking around for so long?

Over the years, I feel like I've tried everything. This 'fad' diet, that 'fad' diet.  I've eaten grapefruits.  I've cut out carbs.  I've not eaten after a certain time.  Shakes, salads, diet pills, been there, done that.  Nothing ever works.

Things have changed now.  They HAVE to.  I'm currently at my lowest weight in about a year an a half, maybe longer.  I'm counting my calories.  I'm exercising.  I'm drinking water like it's my job.  I'm FAR away from my goal, but, shit, I'm ready to shout from the rooftops, "I'M LOSING WEIGHT!!"  I enjoy exercising. Me!  Lisa Marie D'Imperio Budesheim ENJOYS exercising!  Who knew?  I need to expand my exercise repertoire, however.  I've been Zumba-ing to my hearts content, but I need other things to do.  So, I'm doing some research.  Yoga?  Jillian?  I like to dance, so I may just keep along with that sort of workout.

My goal by the summer is 20 pounds.    My goal for the year is 40 pounds.  My overall goal is 60-80 pounds.  There is really no time limit on this.  It may take years, it may not.  It doesn't matter, it just needs to happen.  Right now, I'm on a 'one day at a time' basis, and it's working well.

I'm not sure what the point of writing all of this out was.  Maybe it's so I can look back on it if i'm frustrated.  maybe it's here to remind me of my goals.  Maybe I just need to get it all to process it.  Hopefully I can look back on it 6 months from now, a year from now, 6 years from now, and see how far I've come.

That would be nice...very, very nice.

1 comment:

  1. Omg I so feel you on this one! I just read it now and I was like, "We're simpatico right now". I think it's the Zumba that's helping with the change, but whatever the reason, keep up the excellent work!